summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
