Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
where are you?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
this hospital has no fireball
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"