worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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