i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
