wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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