it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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