If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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