everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
