We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
