So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize