If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
