: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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