whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
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There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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