I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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