Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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