I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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