Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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