If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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