Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
