I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
