So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
