i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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