I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B