I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.