her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis