We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
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When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES