i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
