Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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