so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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