You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize