I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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