have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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