pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize