He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
