There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.