he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.