She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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