I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
