that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
