Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
