I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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