so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All I want is dick and wine.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
