i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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