Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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