you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize