She's JV to your varsity
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
