I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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