You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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