Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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