Do you still have your period?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
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Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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