Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
