Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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