That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
