you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
