I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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