I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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